The struggle with parenthood.

Last February, my son was diagnosed with ADHD. We could definitely tell something was wrong because he had such a hard time concentrating on ANYTHING. Picture, if you will, one of those storm balls. You know, the ones with the purple or blue lightning in them? Can you see it? See how the lightning bolts are all over the place, randomly jumping here and there? That is how I envisioned my son's brain to work. Little synopsis going off here and there causing him to not be able to concentrate. He is now on Vyvanse. At first, I was very reluctant to give him medication to help control his little mind. But, once he started taking the medication, picture that same storm ball. Now, put your finger on the glass of the ball. See how the lightning bolts are no longer scattered, but are now soley focused on your finger? This is my son's brain on Vyvanse. All synopsis going to the same place. He's now head of his class.

The reason I'm posting this is because it's been brought to my attention that my daughter may be ADHD also. Now, she's so different from her brother. She's very calm, and can usually follow directions without much persuasion. Her issues lie in different areas. She has several storm balls in her head. She is having difficulty focusing on anything at school, reading is difficult, and she's still struggling with her alphabet. So, I'm struggling with trying to set up an appointment for her. I feel like a really bad mommy because I never noticed her struggles. Whereas her brother's were adamant, right there in your face, her's kind of creeped up on us. My baby girl has been through so much in her little life, and I'm actually really greatful that the things she's been through are minor compared to how bad things COULD be. She has strabismus, this is when a child is cross eyed. She had surgery on her eyes at the age of 3. She now wears very thick glasses to help keep her eye muscles strong. She broke her arm last year, and had to have surgery to fix the bones in her arms. When she was 4 months old she had a severe bronchial attack, and we spent several hours in the hospital doing breathing treatments on her. We've always cuddled her, and sort of treated her like a little princess. I think in our attempt to protect her, we've hindered her by not noticing her disability and mistaking it for her just being the "baby".

I know I need to forgive myself. It's a struggle. Parenthood is never easy, and they don't tell you all of this when you're taking reproduction classes in school. Parents make mistakes. It's very hard. I just pray that we can locate a therapist who can see her on short notice to diagnose her. I'd hate to have her held back because I failed as a mother.